You're On Hiei Camera!
by kc6
Summary: Hiei gets a video camera as a gift. Now, he goes about documenting the YYH cast.
1. Yusuke

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH  
  
You're On Hiei Camera!  
  
-Introduction-  
  
"A camera?" Hiei asked, making sure Kurama wasn't joking.  
  
"Yes, a camera," Kurama smiled as Hiei observed his gift.  
  
"How do you work this thing?" Hiei asked, confused.  
  
"You press this button over here," Kurama pointed to the camera. "Then you look over here and what ever you see will be recorded. You can make videos using this."  
  
"Hn..." Hiei jumped out Kurama's window without any signs of gratefulness.  
  
Chapter 1: Yusuke  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's face appears.  
  
"We are here up in a tree right outside Yusuke's dwelling," Hiei spoke to the camera. "It should almost be time for him to leave for what they call school."  
  
Yusuke's door opens and the camera zooms in. Yusuke walks out of his house and starts walking. The camera goes blank.  
  
The camera goes back on. Hiei's face appears.  
  
"We are at Yusuke's school," Hiei continued his documentary up in a tree. "Let's observe."  
  
Everyone gasps ask Yusuke walks by them and joins Keiko.  
  
"Hi Yusuke," Keiko welcomed.  
  
"Hey," Yusuke greeted back, lifting Keiko's skirt up, revealing her pink panties.  
  
The camera zooms in for a close up on Keiko's underwear.  
  
Keiko turned a bright red and gave Yusuke a HARD slap on his right cheek.  
  
"He seems to say 'hello' to his woman in a strange manner by looking at her butt when they meet," Hiei whispered to the camera. "They both have weird means of greeting each other. Hn. Here comes the big oaf."  
  
Kuwabara comes running to them and the camera focuses on him.  
  
"Urameshi!" He shouted.  
  
Yusuke and Keiko both turn to meet Kuwabara's gaze.  
  
"This ugly thing is called a Kuwabaka," Hiei whispered quietly, still not moving from his spot on a tree branch. "Let's see what happens."   
  
Suddenly the camera zooms out to see the whole picture. Kuwabara is trying to pick up Yusuke for a beating, but he fails and gets beat up himself.   
  
"Ha! It looks like Kuwabaka's pathetic attempt has failed him miserably." Hiei laughed silently to himself and turned off the camera.  
  
The camera goes back on again.  
  
"Let us see what Yusuke does in his free time." Hiei said peering into Yusuke's bedroom window.  
  
The camera zooms in, closing up on Yusuke sitting on the floor, his eyes glued to the TV screen.  
  
"It appears that Yusuke is watching ningen women mate with others of its own kind," Hiei said, feeling disgusted. "How can ningens indulge themselves by wasting their time like this? How repulsive. I shall stop this for now." The camera goes blank.  
  
The camera gets blurry and is turned back on.  
  
"It is the next day," Hiei looked into the camera. "Yusuke is at school right now, so I shall look at all the embarrassing items in his so called 'room'."  
  
Hiei opened Yusuke's bedroom window and jumped in, capturing the view of his bedroom on video.  
  
"He obviously lives in a soiled environment," Hiei said as he walked through piles of clothes on the floor. He zoomed in on a pair of Yusuke's boxers lying on top of a lamp. It was purple with a few brown stains. Hiei wanted to vomit, seeing such filthiness.  
  
"Hiei!"  
  
Hiei turned around, finding an angry looking Yusuke at doorway.   
  
"Hiei, what are you doing with that camera?! Give me that right now!" demanded Yusuke.  
  
Hiei ran for it. "Well, that is all we know about Yusuke," Hiei said, speaking to the camera one last time. "The rest is unknown." The camera went off. 


	2. Kuwabara

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH  
  
You're On Hiei Camera!  
  
Chapter 2: Kuwabara  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's face appears. "Hn. Today we shall go see the daily life of a big, hideous, weak creature known as the legendary Kuwabaka."  
  
The camera goes off.  
  
Hiei runs quickly through the streets, using his Jagan to find his next subject. Hiei spots Kuwabara and jumps up a tree.  
  
The camera turns on and zooms in through a window.  
  
"We are outside the big oaf's home," Hiei whispered to his camera. "Let us see what that thing does in his spare time."  
  
Kuwabara is on his bed reading some kind of magazine.  
  
"Hn. It looks like he can read after all," Hiei laughed out, but then gasped. "What is this?! It looks like.... egh!"  
  
Kuwabara took his pinky and stuck it up his nose. He wiggled it around in his right nostril and yanked it out again. The camera zoomed in for a huge close up on the green booger stuck to his finger. Then, without warning, he sniffed it and popped it in his mouth.  
  
"Hm... Salty!"  
  
Kuwabara dug his nose once more, but this time he wiped it on his pillow.  
  
"I think I want to vomit," Hiei scrunched up his nose. "We shall finish this later." The camera goes off.  
  
The camera turns back on and Hiei's face appears. "Now that the sun had disappeared and the moon had risen up from its slumber, we shall observe the sleeping habits of this fiend."  
  
Hiei's face had been removed from the camera's view and replaced with a sleeping Kuwabara.  
  
"Kuwabaka seems to smile a lot in his slumber," Hiei said, a bit quieter than usual. "Hn. He is missing his stuffed alligator."  
  
Kuwabara rolled to his side, and the blankets fell off. Hiei's eyes widened.  
  
"This creature sleeps in his naked form, unlike some of us," Hiei said, very disturbed. "He also seems to have an unusually long-"  
  
The camera went blurry.  
  
"Damn," Hiei cursed.  
  
He smacked the camera a few time and it got going once again. The camera zoomed in, and showed Kuwabara on his stomach, drooling all over his pillow.  
  
"Mmm," Kuwabara mumbled in his sleep. "Everlasting buffet."  
  
He then started chewing his pillow, the same one where he wiped his snot on.  
  
The camera went off.  
  
The camera went on again.  
  
"We are here once again, after that horrible night," Hiei spoke to his precious camera. "Now that it is day, I was curious about his hair. How does he do it?"  
  
The camera zooms in on Kuwabara in the bathroom. He takes out a tub of sour cream from a cabinet and mouthwash behind the mirror. Some shampoo behind the shower curtain and hair gel next to the sink. He pours them all into the sink and mixes it up.  
  
"My secret recipe!" Kuwabara said, sinisterly. "No one will ever have such beautiful hair like mine!"  
  
He stuck his hand in the sink, scooped up a handful, and rubbed it all over his head.  
  
The camera went off.  
  
The came came back on later.  
  
"Now, I shall follow Kuwabaka and see what he usually does."  
  
Hiei is following Kuwabara walking down the streets, who is wearing his usual grin.  
  
Kuwabara goes to Genkai's temple.  
  
Yukina comes out and greets Kuwabara, "Kazuma! It's nice to see you."  
  
Kuwabara grabs her hands and says, "Yes! It's lovely to see you too, Yukina- san!"  
  
Kuwabara closes in on Yukina for a kiss, but Hiei sees this and jumps out.  
  
"Touch her and prepare to say goodbye!" Hiei threatened with his katana in both hands.  
  
"Ahhhh! Hey wait, what were you doing here? And why do you have that camera in your pocket?" Kuwabara wondered. He gasped and said, "You must be making a movie about me, the one and only, Kuwabara!  
  
Kuwabara then tried to make a dramatic pose.  
  
Hiei points the camera to himself and says, "Hn. So this is a day in the life of an overgrown emu."  
  
The camera goes off. 


	3. Kurama

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH  
  
You're On Hiei Camera!  
  
Chapter 3: Kurama  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's face appears.  
  
"It's 5:59 AM," Hiei announced quietly. "Today we are going to observe the kitsune, Kurama. It is almost time for him to wake up. Let's see how what is his daily morning routine."  
  
Hiei turned the camera around and now it faces Kurama's window.  
  
Kurama's alarm clock now read 6:00 AM and went off like crazy. Kurama pressed the off switch on his alarm and pulled his blankets off himself. He rolled out of bed in his pink teddy bear pajamas and messy red hair.  
  
The camera zoomed in on Kurama's sleepy eyes as he stumbled into his bathroom.  
  
Hiei opened Kurama's window and jumped in. He slowly and quietly walked over to the bathroom door and opened it just enough so he can get a shot of him.  
  
Kurama was inside, undressing himself for a morning shower. He slowly stripped himself of his pajamas and slid through the shower door. Kurama turned on the warm water and began shampooing his wet, silky hair.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. So sexy, it hurts." Kurama began singing with his eyes clothes.  
  
Hiei smirked, "It seems that Kurama likes to sing this sexy song while in the shower."  
  
"And I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk. I shake my tight, little touche on the catwalk." Kurama started to shake his butt while rinsing his hair from the shampoo.  
  
The camera zoomed in on Kurama's butt, where each cheek was moving up and down in turns.  
  
Kurama finished his song with a nice pee in the shower. He got out in his towel and began to brush and everything.  
  
Hiei quietly ran out of Kurama's room and out the window. Just as Hiei left his friend's room, Kurama came in to get changed.  
  
Hiei peeked through the window. Kurama opened his closet, revealing all his identical pink school uniforms.  
  
"Hm. Where is my Monday uniform? Oh, here it is." Kurama said as he pulled out his clothes.  
  
"Kurama doesn't seem to have anything else in his closet," Hiei whispered. "He... whoops."  
  
Kurama turned around, revealing a large, er, member.  
  
Hiei quickly turned away, turning the camera to film himself. "Kurama has quite a long one for such a book worm. How surprising."  
  
The camera turns off.  
  
Kurama scribbles something on a piece of paper, sticks it on the window, and pulls the curtains down. A few minutes later, he leaves for school. Seeing this, Hiei decides to go back into the red head's room.  
  
Hiei reads the note on the window, "Hiei, please do not go through my things while I am away. I heard about your camera from Yusuke."  
  
Hiei ignored his note and opened the window. He jumped through the window and the red, silky curtains.  
  
Once inside, he saw another note, hanging from the ceiling. "Hiei, I told you not to go into my room. Turn back now. You have been warned."  
  
Hiei turned his camera back on, "It seems Kurama always knows what I'm planning. Well, we'll now go through his valuables."  
  
Hiei stepped forward, and grabbed the annoying piece of paper hanging from the ceiling. Without warning, honey squirted on Hiei out of nowhere.  
  
"Honey? Is this what you were warning me about, Kurama? Ha!" Hiei laughed.  
  
Hiei continued his documentary and opened Kurama's closet. There was a box inside. Hiei got immensely curious and kicked it open.  
  
Bees flew out and started attacking Hiei! Hiei gasped in surprise and tried to hit them with his sword, but found it difficult from their small size. He had no choice but to leave for now.  
  
The camera went off.  
  
The camera went back on again.  
  
"Now that those buzzing pests are gone, I shall finish my investigation on Kurama's possessions." Hiei said, a bit ticked off to the camera.  
  
Hiei jumped back into Kurama's room and went through his drawers.  
  
Hiei smirked. "Kurama likes to keep what ningens call a 'diary.' Kurama says that it is used to write in stupid emotions and things like that. Let's read."  
  
Hiei opened Kurama's diary and read, "February 14th. Dear Diary, today is Valentines Day. Girls have been chasing me all day and trying to hit on me. A girl in my math class grabbed my butt. Another one in science flicked my nipple. And all the girls seemed to try to seduce me by showing me their undergarments and grabbing their own breasts. Valentines Day is definitely a dreadful holiday."  
  
Hiei was about to read another page but he heard the front door close.  
  
Hiei jumped back out the window. The camera went off.  
  
The camera came back on.  
  
"Kurama doesn't have a lot of free time, since he is usually doing his 'schoolwork.' So, now that he does, I shall find out what he normally does." Hiei said to the camera, while following Kurama down the streets.  
  
Kurama walked down the quiet streets of his neighborhood in a big trench coat. His female classmates stared at him as he walked. Twenty year old chicks checked him out. Little girls blushed as he walked pass by. Even grandmas hooted and giggled at him!  
  
"Kurama really is popular with females of all ages." Hiei continued while filming Kurama walking.  
  
Kurama arrived at a building. He looked around to see if anyone was watching and went inside.  
  
Hiei followed him in. Hiei's eyes widened at where he was. Music was booming loudly as women in cages were dancing madly.  
  
Kurama stepped forward and removed his coat, tossing it in the air. Kurama was in white bellbottoms with a matching shirt that was half buttoned and platform shoes with fish in his heels. He tied a white bandana on his forehead and started to point his finger in the air. It was disco night!  
  
Hiei captured everything on his camera as Kurama was doing the moonwalk. Hiei couldn't take it anymore. The madness! He had to go get a drink so he turned his camera off.  
  
As Hiei carefully walked over to the bar, avoiding Kurama, a woman approached him. "Let's get down on a horizontal boogie, Shorty!"  
  
Hiei glared at the woman and looked as if he was about to strike, when Kurama appeared.  
  
"Hiei! What are you doing here?!" Kurama yelled, trying to talk over the loud music.  
  
"Same goes to you, kitsune!" Hiei smirked.  
  
"Well, uh.... wait a minute. Were you following me with your camera?!" Kurama asked, angrily.  
  
Hiei left him without an answer and quickly stalked out of the disco club with his precious camera in his hand. 


	4. Koenma

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or any singers  
  
You're on Hiei Camera!  
  
Chapter 4: Koenma  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's face appears.  
  
"Today, we're going under cover. Ghee, sounds exciting, doesn't it?" Hiei said, sarcastically. "I'm going to spy on the toddler, dressed as the ferry onna."  
  
The camera turns off.  
  
Hiei gets into platform shoes, a pink kimono, and wears a Botan mask. He puts the camera under the kimono, but having it stick out slightly to capture everything on video.  
  
Hiei turns the camera on and says, "You may be wondering why I am dressed like this. You see, Koenma doesn't really have anything to hide behind in his office. So, I am disguised as the ferry onna."  
  
Hiei walks into Koenma's office.  
  
"Botan! Nice to see you here. Would you please get Hiei here?" Koenma commanded.  
  
"The handsome Hiei-sama is currently out doing some personal business. He told me, the stupid ferry onna, to leave him alone or else he would stick his katana down my throat," Hiei mustered out  
  
Koenma looked at Hiei awkwardly, "Botan?"  
  
"Yes?" Hiei responded quickly.  
  
"Here's some cold medicine," Koenma threw a bottle full of cold pills at Hiei. "You must have a sore throat. You sound just like Hiei."  
  
Hiei caught it and threw it back at him, hitting him in the forehead.  
  
"OW!" Koenma shouted. "Botan! Have you been working out? You seem stronger."  
  
"Oh no. I'm but a weak, stupid girl. I could never compare my strength with the great, sexy one, Hiei!" Hiei tried to giggle like Botan.  
  
Koenma gave Hiei a frightened look and shoed him out of his office.  
  
"Damn," Hiei cursed. "That didn't work out as I planned. He didn't reveal anything interesting. Oh well."  
  
Hiei ripped his Botan costume off himself and opened the door to Koenma's office a little bit. He pulled out his camera and started filming.  
  
Koenma looked around to see if Botan or George was around, and kicked his stack of paperwork off his desk.  
  
"Hn, interesting." Hiei whispered.  
  
Koenma took out a remote control and pressed a button. Music started playing loudly and a disco ball hung from the ceiling. He transformed into his teenage form and jumped on his desk. He started dancing and singing to a few songs.  
  
"It seems that the toddler likes to pose as Ricky Martin," Hiei smirked.  
  
The song changed and he was singing to one of J Lo's songs.  
  
The camera turned off.  
  
The camera turned on again.  
  
"Let's see the toddler in his chambers." Hiei whispered as he entered Koenma's room.  
  
He crouched down next to his bed and pointed the camera towards Koenma.  
  
"Mommy? Is that you? I've missed you so muuuuuuch." Koenma mumbled, with his pacifier still in his mouth.  
  
Hiei laughed silently.  
  
Koenma extended his arms and tried to reach out to "mommy." Instead of getting what he wanted, he grabbed Hiei instead.  
  
Hiei hesitated a bit and tried to pull free without Koenma waking up, but found it being a bit difficult.  
  
"I missed you. Daddy is being too meeeeeaaaaaaan." Koenma said in his sleep.  
  
"The toddler even whines in his sleep!" Hiei said quietly.  
  
Koenma hugged Hiei tighter and rested his head on Hiei's hair.  
  
"Mommy! Stop poking me... It hurts." Koenma said, feeling discomfort from Hiei's spiky hair.  
  
"I love you mommy," Koenma whispered and jammed his pacifier into Hiei's left cheek.  
  
Hiei couldn't take it anymore. He had to use force. He turned off his camera, pushed Koenma away aggressively, and ran out the door.  
  
"Huh? What was that?" Koenma wondered, looking around.  
  
The camera turns on again.  
  
"It's almost 'Christmas.' It's that holiday where ningens buy each other gifts and then throw it out later. Let's see what Koenma gets everyone," Hiei says to the camera.  
  
Koenma was browsing through the racks. "Yusuke would love this!" He said as he picked out a pink, lacey bra.  
  
Koenma wondered aloud, "Should I get Kuwabara deodorant or a sandwich?"  
  
He picked up a pair of earrings. "Botan might like this."  
  
Koenma got a bouquet of roses for Kurama, a kimono for Yukina, grandma underwear for Genkai, and the list goes on.  
  
"He didn't get anything for me!" Hiei shouted aloud.  
  
"That's because I know you're there, Hiei," Koenma said. "And give me that camera!"  
  
Hiei ran for it and got away, since Koenma was busy carrying all those gifts. 


	5. Keiko

A.N./ Happy New Years! It's finally 2004! *throws confetti and dances around* By the way, hope you enjoy this. I did this one a while ago and I didn't feel like redoing another Keiko. But this isn't very nasty. I just hope you guys think this is funny though. Here is the next chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH  
  
You're On Hiei Camera!  
  
Chapter 5: Keiko  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's face appeared.  
  
"Hn," Hiei hned, "Today, I shall track down the weak ningen girl known as, Keiko."  
  
The camera turned off.  
  
Hiei jumped from tree to tree, all the way to the school in which Keiko, Yusuke, and Kuwabara attends to.  
  
He finally reached his destination and hid behind a wall. He peeped over the corner and turned his camera on.  
  
"Hi Yusuke!" Keiko smiled.  
  
Yusuke smiled back and greeted her back. He went in back of her but Keiko turned around, "Yusuke! You're not getting me this time."  
  
"Fine. I'm sorry about last time." Yusuke apologized.  
  
Keiko smiled and Yusuke smiled back. Keiko began to walk to class but Yusuke sneaked up on her and lifted her skirt way high.  
  
"Nice choice of color today," Yusuke said as he looked at her underwear.  
  
Keiko turned bright red and smacked Yusuke as hard as she could.  
  
"The girl seems to be violated and harassed often by Yusuke," Hiei said. "She is rejecting his mating call."  
  
Keiko stomped off to class with Yusuke following behind her. "Aw, come on! It was just a joke!" Yusuke yelled, trying to get Keiko's attention.  
  
The camera turned off.  
  
Later that day, Hiei jumped onto the roof and looked down.  
  
The camera turned on, showing Hiei's face.  
  
"It is time for the girl to exercise," Hiei said, turning the camera down, towards the track field. "As you can see, the ningen girl is starting to sag. So, she must be in a good physical condition or Yusuke would surely never mate with her.  
  
Keiko walked out in her gym clothes. She looked at herself, "Am I getting fatter?"  
  
The gym teacher assigned them twelve laps on the track. Keiko sighed and started running.  
  
The camera zoomed in on her jogging.  
  
"Hn. She is running pathetically slow," Hiei laughed. "She'll never lose any weight like that."  
  
The camera went off.  
  
The camera turned on once more and zoomed in on Keiko sitting down at a table, digging through her bag.  
  
"It is time for her usual feeding," Hiei whispered, inside a garbage can. "She is hunting her prey at this very moment. It is best to keep a far distance when dealing with food."  
  
"Argh! Where did it go?!" Keiko yelled as she frantically dug through her bag, looking for her lunch.  
  
"Keiko!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Keiko yelled, frustrated.  
  
"Calm down," Yusuke said, sitting down next to her.  
  
"Sorry. It's just that I can't find my lunch." Keiko sighed.  
  
"Want some?" Yusuke passed her a sandwich.  
  
"Food!" Keiko beamed as she quickly stuffed the food into her mouth.  
  
"Don't look now, but I think Hiei is trying to do a documentary on you." Yusuke warned.  
  
"Don't be silly." Keiko smiled.  
  
"You can see his spiky hair peeping out from that garbage can over there." Yusuke pointed out.  
  
"Hn. Yusuke is pointing over here," Hiei whispered hesitantly. "Now he is walking in my direction! Shit!"  
  
Yusuke dumped the remnants of his lunch into Hiei's garbage can and walked away with an evil smirk on his face.  
  
Hiei got out of the garbage can, with a banana peel on his camera and bread crumbs in his hair.  
  
"Well, I guess Yusuke wants to die." Hiei stated out to his camcorder.  
  
The camera went off.  
  
The camera went on again.  
  
"We shall now observe what she does during a pre-mating ritual called a 'date.'" Hiei spoke as he followed Keiko and Yusuke walking down the streets.  
  
She went into a store, dragging Yusuke along. Hiei crouched down in front of a window outside the store.  
  
The camera zoomed in on Keiko twirling around in a dress for Yusuke.  
  
"What do you think?" Keiko giggled.  
  
Yusuke sighed from boredom.  
  
"This girl likes to show off her chubby legs often." Hiei said, peeping through the window.  
  
Hiei jumped into a tree as the couple walked out of the store and down to an ice cream shop.  
  
"Hey, babe. What you doing here on a night like this?" Yusuke growled to the girl serving ice cream.  
  
"Hn. The girl has chosen a horrible male to be her future mate, indeed." Hiei said as he watched Keiko give Yusuke a hard slap on the cheek.  
  
"Er, two chocolate ice cream cones, please." Yusuke said, feeling a bit awkward.  
  
Hiei, behind another garbage can, drooled at the sight of ice cream, "Sweet snow!"  
  
Keiko turned around and saw a black blur.  
  
"Hiei, come out. We know you're there!" Keiko shouted.  
  
Hiei crouched down lower and lower.  
  
Keiko walked over to the garbage can and looked behind it, but no one was there.  
  
"Hiei...." Keiko asked, seeing if he really was there.  
  
Hiei looked at her up in a tree, "So, there is the weak ningen girl, known as Keiko Yukimura, who is always being stalked by Yusuke."  
  
The camera went off. 


	6. Botan

A.N. / Thanks for the reviews! Finally got over 100! I didn't expect to get so much. Appreciated them a lot and now I can't stop smiling! And I'm sorry if some of you guys thought Keiko's chapter wasn't very interesting/funny though. I wasn't really in the mood to make changes. But if I did, the date part would only be a bit more detailed. Anyways, I remember there were some questions being asked so I'll answer them now. Of course Yukina will be in this story, along with all the other sub characters I can think of. That includes Genkai, Botan, Jin, Touya, Mukuro, some bad guys, and so on. And yes, Hiei will get filmed too. It wouldn't be fun without Hiei, now would it?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH  
  
You're On Hiei Camera!  
  
Chapter 6: Botan  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's face appears from the corner of the screen.  
  
"Our next victim is the ferry onna," Hiei mumbles. "She is taking a break from her job. Today, we'll see what she does during her free time."  
  
Hiei walks down the streets of ningenkai, following Botan. Botan enters a hair salon and Hiei goes in with her.  
  
"Hn. I assume she is going to give her mane a trim," Hiei says while focusing his camera behind a fern.  
  
"Excuse me sir, are you here to get your hair done?" A woman asks.  
  
Hiei looks up and growled, "No! Now go away!"  
  
The camera zooms in on Botan, sitting down on those barber chairs and reading a magazine. She has on those... coverings (I don't know what they're called) to keep the hair from falling all over her.  
  
A woman starts trimming her long, blue hair. After five minutes, she was done!  
  
"Hmph! She barely had cut ANY hair," Hiei said.  
  
Botan was then led to go wash her hair. She laid down and a woman with very long nails starting to help her scrub.  
  
"The baka onna is having some ningen scratch her head with those huge claws?" Hiei asked in confusion. "Why isn't she bleeding? Does that ningen think the ferry onna is some kind of pet?"  
  
The woman finished washing Botan's long hair and helped her up to get her hair dried and stuff. Botan sat in one of those chairs with those metal hats connected to it that dry your hair or something (I don't know what it's called but you know what I mean?). The woman set the timer for 30 minutes and left.  
  
"What is that baka onna doing to herself this time?" Hiei wondered as he peered over the fern in which he was hiding behind. "It looks like she is baking her head in an oven of some sort. It must be a torture device! This should get interesting." Hiei smirked.  
  
A few minutes had passed and now Botan was getting a little hot.  
  
"Um, excuse me miss. Is this done yet? It is really getting hot under this thing," Botan asked with a bit of smoke coming out from that metal hat thing.  
  
The woman gave her a smile and stopped the horrible machine. Botan gave a sigh of relief and paid the cashier. She then left the salon with nice, clean hair that kind of looks the same.  
  
Hiei jumped out from behind the fern and followed.  
  
Botan walked into a nearby diner and took a seat. Hiei also walked in and sat at the counter across from Botan's table, where a woman was taking her order. Hiei had his back facing her and luckily, she didn't notice him.  
  
"Stupid ferry onna," Hiei laughed as he filmed her. "She doesn't even notice I'm here."  
  
"Actually Hiei, I do!" Botan looked over with a smile.  
  
Hiei hesitated and nearly dropped his camera from trying to hide it behind his back.  
  
"Sit down with me." Botan suggested. "I want to talk to you about something."  
  
Hiei turned his camera off, put it safely in his pocket, slowly walked over and sat down with an evil glare.  
  
"Hiei, I know you're trying to film me with that ridiculous camera," Botan said. "In fact, most of us do! It's quite obvious, really."  
  
Hiei hned loudly.  
  
"Can you give me that camera?!" Botan asked.  
  
Hiei smirked, "Yes I CAN. But I won't."  
  
Hiei then left so quickly that Botan didn't even notice.  
  
"Hey wait! Where did you go this time?!" Botan asked furiously.  
  
Hiei was now up in a tree outside, capturing Botan yelling in the diner with every staring at her like she was crazy on film. The camera went off.  
  
The camera turned on again and Hiei's face appeared.  
  
"I'm back from outside that food place," Hiei said. "And I'm curious about that small tube in a bottle that people suck on. How could you ever get your beverage to come out with that thing? But now, that baka onna has work. So I'm going to go through her belongings."  
  
Hiei walked into Botan's chambers in Koenma's palace. He walked over to a dresser and opened the bottom drawer.  
  
"What is this?" Hiei asked as he zoomed in on a certain type of clothing.  
  
Hiei picked up a pink bra and started swinging it over his head madly, "It looks like one of those ningen contraptions that females wear to show off to find mates."  
  
Hiei then seeing one of Botan's spare oars, tossed the bra away. He picked up the magical flying device.  
  
"This wooden oar is used to fly around or it could be used as a tool of destruction," Hiei said dramatically. "Observe."  
  
Hiei began whacking random objects in the room.  
  
"Hiei!" A familiar voice called out.  
  
Hiei turned around and saw a bunch of people rushing in. He quickly fled.  
  
"Where did he go this time?!" Koenma asked angrily.  
  
"I don't know, sire," George replied.  
  
Koenma just gave him an irritated look.  
  
"But I do know he has been digging through Botan's things. See?" George handed a pink bra over to Koenma.  
  
Koenma blushed and angrily stated out, "Get that away from me!"  
  
Outside...  
  
"And so, this is the baka ferry onna's life." Hiei said.  
  
The camera turns off. 


	7. Jin & Touya

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH  
  
You're On Hiei Camera!  
  
Chapter 7: Jin & Touya  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's face appears.  
  
"Jin, some people call him the Wind Master," Hiei introduced while standing on a tree branch in the Makai. "Others call him the hyper, flying leprechaun. Let's see how he manages on his own."  
  
Jin was sitting down on a rock by a river. He seemed to be fidgeting with a small tree branch, picked from the one right above him. Jin was studying the leaves at the end with much curiosity. He looked around and seeing that no one was around, he started tickling himself.  
  
Jin brushed his feet with the leafy part and gave in to the ticklish sensation. He laughed maniacally.  
  
"Jin should be training instead of doing foolish things like this," Hiei spat.  
  
Jin looked around once again and stuck the leafy end of the branch into his pants. He wiggled it around and enjoying the feeling, started to giggle with his pointy ears twitching around.  
  
"Who knew?" Hiei said as he watched Jin playing around with the branch. "No wonder Jin and Yusuke get along so well."  
  
Suddenly, Jin stopped. He accidentally poked himself with the sharp ends and winced in pain as he slowly pulled the branch out of his pants.  
  
Hiei smirked, "He was lucky that branch didn't have thorns."  
  
Jin then shaved the leaves off the branch, turning it into a smooth, pointy stick.  
  
"Might as well catch me some fish!" Jin decided as he used the stick as a nice backscratcher.  
  
Jin jumped into the river and stood there, not moving an inch. He hovered over the water, looking down with his pointy stick in hand, looking as if he was ready to strike any minute now.  
  
Jin eyed a fish swimming towards him. It got closer. And closer. The fish was now at Jin's feet, sucking on Jin's big toe.  
  
Jin watched as the fish kept sucking and sucking and wouldn't let go. Soon, the fish died from not getting any water into its mouth because of Jin's big toe blocking all the liquid out.  
  
"Ha!" Jin grinned in triumph as he grabbed the fish out of the water. "I caught me a wee fish!"  
  
"So this is how Jin catches fish?" Hiei looked flabbergasted. "Baka. Should've blew all the fish out instead of wasting all that time."  
  
The camera went off.  
  
The camera turned on.  
  
"Touya, the Ice Master," Hiei said hiding in the bushes. "Some people call him the sweet snow cone man. Let's see how this one manages when alone."  
  
Touya was sitting under a tree, staring at the sky. And out of no where, a spider flies into his face!  
  
"Woa!" Touya yelled out in surprise.  
  
The spider crawled on his cheek, and reached his nose in seconds. The spider bit Touya's nose and soon there was a big bump. Touya reacted to the bite and slapped his nose, hoping to kill the spider.  
  
Touya rubbed his nose in pain. It turned out the spider quickly crawled away before Touya's hand had reached it. The spider was now fleeing! And you now how spiders can crawl VERY fast. It crawled up Touya's nose!  
  
Touya scrunched up his nose and tried to snort it out but having no prevail. The spider escaped further and further up the nose and was now crawling down his throat.  
  
Touya was now a bit nervous that it might crawl into his brain and eat his whole head up but he felt the spider coming into his throat and felt a bit relieved.  
  
Touya tried to cough the insect out and the spider was holding tight to his throat. Touya snorted and spat but no spider was out. Touya coughed again and felt the spider was now grabbing on to his tongue. Touya then drowned the spider with his saliva and spat it out. He then smiled in victory, knowing that the spider was now dead. He laughed with his mouth wide open and a fly flew into his mouth.  
  
Hiei smirked, "How ironic."  
  
The camera turned off.  
  
The camera turned on and showed Hiei's face.  
  
"Now that it is night, they are both together. Would their useless lives be easier when they are with each other?"  
  
Hiei peered downwards, pointing his camera down below.  
  
Jin and Touya sat around a fire. It greatly brightened up the area around them for the clouds blocked the moon that night.  
  
Jin had caught some fish earlier that day. He had put them on the same stick he used for scratching and tickling and jammed the ends of the wood into the ground, right next to the fire, allowing them to cook.  
  
Touya was taking a little nap and Jin was watching desperately for the fish to heat up.  
  
Jin took his finger and touched his catch, testing if it was hot enough, but quickly withdrew his hand from the blazing heat of the flames.  
  
"Ahhhh! Me fingers!" Jin yelled as he waved his hand around, trying to cool himself off.  
  
Touya woke up and, seeing dinner was ready, grabbed a fish on a stick.  
  
Jin watched as Touya took his food as if it was nothing, as if it was the easiest task in the world. Not even burning his hand!  
  
Jin tried to grab some food, but his hand caught on fire!  
  
"Ahhhh! Me hand!" Jin screamed as he waved his hand wildly. But his pants also caught on fire from waving so closely to his legs.  
  
"Ahhhh! Me pants!" Jin yelled in agony.  
  
Touya saw this and took action! He froze up Jin's hand and pants.  
  
Jin let out a breath of relief but now his legs and hand were getting awfully cold.  
  
"Brrrrr! Me pants!" Jin shivered.  
  
Touya smirked and continued eating.  
  
"I know Jin couldn't possibly be alive without Touya. I wonder if it's like this every time they eat," Hiei snickered.  
  
The camera turned off. 


	8. Mukuro

AN/ Yeah yeah, I'm not dead. Sorry I didn't update sooner. I've gotten very lazy lately. And my friend got me addicted to this online game. Any of you heard of it? It's called "Gunbound." Do I have to write a disclaimer for that? Oh well. So, I've been playing that during my free time lately. But here is something just to keep you guys a bit amused for a while until I write another chapter. But, if it isn't funny, then you can blame it on my laziness and writers block. I did this a while back but forgot about it. I just wrote this without much thought... plus I was eating a hotdog. And I promise the next one will be better. And I wanted to thank you guys for the reviews! Not one complaint about the lack of updating. How Sweet! And there's one more thing. For those of you who are familiar with this holiday, Happy Valentine's Day!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, Loch Lomond, or Gunbound  
  
Chapter 8: Mukuro  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's sleepy face appears from the corner of the screen.  
  
"I am in the Makai right now," Hiei mumbled as he yawned. "Mukuro summoned me here and I have been working my ass off for the past few days. Training all day... But, now that I finally have some free time, we shall spy on Mukuro."  
  
Hiei treaded tiredly towards Mukuro's chambers with a yawn.  
  
Hiei opened the door and, seeing no one was inside, stepped in.  
  
"I wonder what Mukuro keeps in here," Hiei wondered aloud as he opened some drawers.  
  
Hiei stuck his hand inside the top drawer and took out a dildo?!  
  
Hiei's eyes widened in surprise, "What is THIS? This looks like some kind of mechanical device for massaging your feet."  
  
Hiei kicked off his shoes and turned it on. (DOES it turn? I never really seen one before) He pressed it against the bottom of his feet and quickly withdrew from the horrible, tickly sensation.  
  
Hiei then pressed the dildo against his right cheek. Having it so close, he could smell the scent of... lets just say a weird scent you don't want to know about. Hiei, finally aware of where it has been, quickly threw it back into the drawer and pulled his shoes back on.  
  
"I assume that massive replica was used to pleasure a certain Makai lord." Hiei said, feeling a bit awkward from what he had just done.  
  
Hiei then continued looking through the dresser, throwing out some other random objects: a robotic leg, some underwear, a stick, and blah.  
  
Then, something caught Hiei's eye.  
  
"Hn. Since when did Mukuro have one of these?" Hiei pondered aloud as he held up a piece of sexy lingerie. "I thought only ningen females wore this type of skimpy clothing to attract mates."  
  
Suddenly, a horrible image of Mukuro trying to seduce someone popped into Hiei's mind.  
  
Hiei shuddered as he quickly put everything back where he had found it.  
  
"Hiei!" A loud voice was coming down the halls.  
  
Hiei quickly exited Mukuro's chambers and headed towards the source of the loud roar.  
  
A little servant of Mukuro walked up to Hiei and bowed, "Master Hiei, Mukuro is awaiting you in the dining hall."  
  
Hiei nodded and proceeded there. He hid his camera in his cloak, but had a little part of it sticking out, so he could continue to film.  
  
Hiei walked into the large room and sat down at the end of a long table.  
  
"Hiei. Eat, then we will continue your training," Mukuro said, sitting across the other end of the long table.  
  
Hiei grunted and picked up a chicken leg. Mukuro also began eating.  
  
Mukuro picked up a sausage and put the end of it into her mouth, chewing slowly.  
  
Hiei saw this and another horrible image of Mukuro playing with that hotdog came into mind.  
  
Hiei shuddered once again and whispered to his camera, "It seems Mukuro has a very horny side to herself... Even towards her food."  
  
"What did you say?!" Mukuro yelled out.  
  
"Nothing," Hiei responded.  
  
Mukuro continued eating. This time, she peeled a long banana and it accidentally slipped out of her grasp and fell onto her pants. She lowered her hand down, reaching for it.  
  
Hiei, getting the wrong idea that Mukuro was trying to stick that fruit somewhere, dropped his jaw, showing chewed up chicken in his mouth, and gasped to his camera, "She really does like to play with her food!"  
  
Mukuro looked at a very pale Hiei with an open mouth, "Hiei! Get some rest. You look horrible. And close your mouth! No one wants to see that!"  
  
Hiei silently hned and walked off into his chambers. Once in the dark halls, Hiei reached into his cloak and turned his camera off.  
  
The camera turned on again.  
  
"Egh! Who knew Mukuro was like this? She is probably desperate for a mate with all those stupid items in her domain. *gasp* I hope she doesn't want me!" Hiei said, for once feeling a bit scared.  
  
Another horrible image popped into Hiei's mind where he is doing Mukuro. Hiei shrugged it off.  
  
"Now that she is asleep, I shall look closely at her sleeping habits," Hiei said as he walked towards Mukuro's chambers once again.  
  
Hiei slightly opened the door and stuck his camera in.  
  
The camera zoomed in on a sweaty Mukuro lying in bed.  
  
Mukuro rolled to her side. Then to the opposite side. Then she started thrusting her hips forward.  
  
"Is she having some sort of nightmare?" Hiei wondered.  
  
Hiei used his jagan and saw what was in her mind at that time.  
  
Mukuro. She was running through a field of daisies singing Loch Lomond?! (I bet you didn't see that coming)  
  
Hiei left the dream world, feeling a bit disturbed, "Hn. I guess that is all for this Makai Lord."  
  
Hiei then walked back to his room with a look of pure disgust. 


	9. Yukina

AN/ Well, here is the next chapter. Like I promised, this one is much better. Or at least it should be... Or at least it should be in my opinion.... Or at least.... Ah, just go read it.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or Jackie Chan Adventures  
  
You're on Hiei Camera!  
  
Chapter 9: Yukina  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's face appears.  
  
"Today, I will observe......... Yukina," Hiei said awkwardly. "Since that ugly buffoon, Kuwabaka, has fallen for her, I must make sure he will not touch her at all or he WILL regret it."  
  
Hiei was sneaking around Genkai's temple. He quietly walked down the dark hallways until he heard a strange sound.  
  
"Oh Yukina!"  
  
Hiei's glance shot towards a door to his left. He silently tiptoed towards the door and pressed his ear against it.  
  
"Kazuma! Not so loud!"  
  
Hiei had noticed that was Kuwabara and Yukina's voice! What could Yukina be doing in there? And with Kuwabara!  
  
"Yukina!"  
  
"Yes, it feels so wonderful inside me,"  
  
"Ahehehe."  
  
"Oh, it's so warm and tingly, Kazuma."  
  
"Ahehehe. I'm glad you like it too Yukina. How about THIS?!"  
  
"Oh! Ugh! Please! Please give me more."  
  
"Ahehehe."  
  
"Harder Kazuma. Squeeze it harder! Ugh! And I need some of that FAST! Ugh!"  
  
Hiei couldn't take it anymore! What could they be doing in there? Hiei began to feel a drop of cold sweat rolling down the right side of his face. Should he barge in and stop this nonsense?  
  
Going back 5 minutes ago.........  
  
"Oh Yukina!" Kuwabara shouted as he tasted the sweetest glass of lemonade ever.  
  
"Kazuma! Not so loud," Yukina shooshed, not wanting Genkai finding out she wasn't doing her chores.  
  
"Yukina!" Kuwabara called, handing Yukina some of the delicious food he had brought over earlier.  
  
"Yes, it feels so wonderful inside me," Yukina said, swallowing a sample.  
  
"Ahehehe," Kuwabara felt pleased.  
  
"Oh, it's so warm and tingly, Kazuma," Yukina giggled.  
  
"Ahehehe. I'm glad you like it too Yukina," Kuwabara blushed and offered some more, "How about THIS?!"  
  
Yukina tried some spicy noodles and gasped. "Oh! Ugh! Please! Please give me more," She said, not wanting to hurt his feelings.  
  
"Ahehehe," Kuwabara chuckled and gave her the entire plate of noodles.  
  
Yukina pointed to some ketchup and Kuwabara offered to squeeze her some. "Harder Kazuma. Squeeze it harder!" Yukina yelled, needing to smother up the spicy taste quickly. "Ugh! And I need some of that FAST! Ugh!" She yelled once again, pointing to a glass of lemonade on the other side of the table.  
  
Yukina felt so much pain in her throat and now her stomach also. She felt terrible! Tears were beginning to form in her eyes. She grasped her stomach in agony and gave out a loud moan.  
  
Outside, Hiei's curiosity was about to explode. He had to find out what was going on. A drop of pure sweat had rolled down his face once again. He slowly reached for the door, feeling a bit nervous about what to be expected.  
  
Kuwabara quickly turn around to see his beloved Yukina in pain. Seeing this, he hurried to Yukina's side and gently pushed her backwards to lie down on the floor.  
  
"Yukina, my darling!" Kuwabara yelled out.  
  
Yukina pointed to the glass of lemonade with her left finger while her other hand clutched her throat.  
  
Kuwabara ran to the glass of lemonade. He moved so quickly that he had accidentally toppled the table over and spilled lemonade all over the front of his pants!  
  
Yukina nearly cried from the loss of her precious lemonade.  
  
"Ah!" Kuwabara yelped and quickly took his pants off, throwing them backwards into the air.  
  
Then, all of a sudden the door had been violently ripped apart and in jumped Hiei with his katana in hand.  
  
"DIE YOU BAKA!"  
  
And you know how quickly Hiei moves! He had jumped into the room in half a second and had Kuwabara's wet pants land on his head. Hiei pulled the ugly brown pants out of his face and saw that they were wet! Hiei scrunched his nose up in disgust, thinking Kuwabara had peed all over himself from sexual excitement. How pathetic.  
  
Hiei then noticed that Yukina was lying on the floor with Kuwabara next to her, in his pink underwear. Oh the horror! Hiei nearly passed out from that sight!  
  
The camera turns off.  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's disturbed face appears.  
  
"Ugh!" Hiei shivered all over. "Now that that is over, I shall move on. I shall now protect my Yukina and see how she manages what ningens call 'shopping.'"  
  
Hiei walked around a department store, eyeing Yukina around the corner. The camera zoomed in on the ice apparition walking through the women's department. Perfume could be smelled 30 feet away and gave Hiei's nose the most ticklish sensation ever.  
  
Yukina stepped into the underwear section in her little blue dress, browsing around. Hiei was closely following her, having women giving him weird looks about how a man was filming ladies' lingerie.  
  
"Baka onna!" Hiei cursed out to a thirteen-year-old girl while pointing to a mannequin that was modeling a silk thong. "Go look for meager clothing to seduce your mate with!"  
  
Hiei then continued following his dear sister around the store. He had his camera zoom in on Yukina who was now eyeing something in front of her.  
  
Yukina just had to stop and examine this, "What is this?!"  
  
Yukina, acting just like her brother, reached out her finger and began poking a flabby material to satisfy her curiosity. Seeing it jiggle around, she poked it more and more until the poor thing had popped and out flowed water.  
  
Yukina gave a slight gasp and walked away quickly with a red face.  
  
"HEY! Who popped the fake boob?!" Someone whined in the distance. "Aw! Do I have to clean this up?"  
  
Hiei gave a small smile and turned his camera off.  
  
The camera turned on and Hiei's face appeared once again.  
  
"Yukina, she may not have much muscle, but does have healing powers. Let's see how she learns all these skills of hers."  
  
Hiei was outside Genkai's temple, peeping through the window of Yukina's bedroom. He zoomed the camera in on Yukina, sitting down on the floor with an open book right in front of her.  
  
Yukina studied the book with much concentration. Then Hiei had moved his foot forward a bit and stepped on a twig. Yukina, hearing that piece of wood snap, jumped up from her book with a look of surprise on her face.  
  
"Oh no! It must be bad men trying to get me!" Our dear Yukina assumed. "It's a good thing I've been reading this book."  
  
Yukina grabbed some kind of er..... grey newt in one of her drawers and stood on one foot. Then she began hopping up and down while chanting, "Hu moe gwey gwey fie dee zhoa!" (If you watch Jackie Chan Adventures, you would know what I'm talking about! Hehe.)  
  
Hiei then felt a bit odd breeze when outside the window. He was suddenly being lifted into the air and thrown 100 feet backwards, going a 100 miles per hour.  
  
Hiei flew over Genkai's forest, landing on a tree branch and squishing a poor crow's nest. Hiei turned the camera off with birds trying to peck him to death and sighed, "So, there goes Yukina. She may look defenseless, but she has her many ways of getting rid of demons.... Even though she is one herself." 


	10. Genkai

AN/ *sigh* Once again I took more time than needed to update. I know it's my fault and I'm sorry. I really am. My brain ran out of juice and I couldn't think of something good for Genkai. But I hope I at least amuse some of you for a while even if it's not REALLY about filming Genkai like the first event. But my two month project ends in a few days. I think I'll be able to update more frequently now. I just hope I don't have a writer's block....  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or Spyro the Dragon  
  
You're on Hiei Camera!  
  
Chapter 10: Genkai  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's blushing yet irritated face appears.  
  
"Hn, today I'm going to follow the old hag since I'm already here in her temple," Hiei said to his precious camera. "But I keep getting distracted by these idiots who are trying to-"  
  
"Hiei!" A naked Kurama interrupted. "Come join us! We're not planning to ogle at you or anything!"  
  
"Yeah," Yusuke grinned. "It's not like we want to see which one of our 'baseball bats' are bigger!"  
  
"Huh?" Kuwabara stepped in. "I thought we were...."  
  
"SHHHHHH!" Yusuke shushed his naked friend.  
  
Hiei angrily mumbled to himself about stupid bathing habits and dropped his camera on the floor along with the rest of his clothes.  
  
Right as Hiei stepped outside.....  
  
"Oh my!" Kurama gasped as Yusuke teasingly growled and whistled.  
  
"Come on, Shrimp. Lose the pink towel! Besides, who knew you like wearing that color?" Kuwabara teased.  
  
Hiei tossed the towel away and quickly jumped into the water. And with that speed, he went by unnoticed.  
  
"Aw! You didn't even give us a peek! Uh.... Not that I wanted to see or anything!" Kuwabara stumbled.  
  
"Hey! Want to go peeking?! That's always fun!" Yusuke sneered.  
  
"Sure!" Kuwabara laughed.  
  
Yusuke tugged at Hiei and left Kurama behind since he didn't want any part of this. Their shiny little butts climbed to the edge of the wall. They looked.... But unfortunately, Yusuke and Kuwabara didn't get to see much. Only Genkai was bathing. The two friends started making a little riot from the lack of women. Hiei, wanting to know what the fuss was about, peered over and saw a wrinkly old woman.  
  
Hiei just kept staring and staring, hypnotized by the wrinkles. 'Damn! How many wrinkles are there?! So many popping veins.... Egh! How can she have so many if the kitsune has none even though he's much older?! This is disgusting! But how come I can't stop looking?! Egh!'  
  
Yusuke and Kuwabara just looked at Hiei. "Hiei! You sly dog! You got the hots for Grandma now?" Yusuke teased.  
  
Hiei jumped at the sudden burst of sound and fell backwards into the steamy water.  
  
The camera turned on and Hiei's face appears.  
  
"Some call her Genkai or, as Yusuke calls her, the evil grandma," Hiei began. "Yusuke always complain about her 'rigorous' training so I might as well see how it plays out."  
  
Hiei walked though the temple and saw no one was around. For this reason, he had decided to go look around. He walked through the long hallways and randomly opened doors, in hope of finding her but having no success.  
  
Hiei opened another door of Genkai's temple just a bit and witnessed the most horrible sight ever! Genkai was beating Yusuke at playing video games.... blindfolded!  
  
Hiei smirked at the ridiculous sight of a sweaty Yusuke struggling as if his life depended on it and a blindfolded Genkai who is sitting there calmly, hardly trying.  
  
Genkai and Yusuke had been playing for merely three minutes and Genkai had already beaten Yusuke more than twenty times.  
  
"It seems they are controlling some sort of little creatures on that screen," Hiei quietly said.  
  
"NOOOOOO!" Yusuke screamed out, slamming his fingers on random buttons of the controller. "That's not fair! You can't keep attacking me while I'm down!"  
  
"Dimwit, use your brain." Genkai replied back. "That's the whole point in playing! You must learn to use strategy."  
  
"KO," The TV screen read.  
  
Yusuke nearly cried from losing every single round, "C-can we play something else?"  
  
"Like what?" Genkai asked as she took her blindfold off.  
  
Yusuke went over and dug through her huge box filled of games. "How about.... Hey! What's this?" Yusuke asked as he held out a box.  
  
The cover of the box had a picture of himself, Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama. It was a YYH video game?  
  
Yusuke felt very creeped out and tossed the game aside. He then found Spyro the Dragon!  
  
"Let's play this!" Yusuke suggested.  
  
"You dimwit! That's a one-player game!" Genkai said boldly.  
  
"I know," Yusuke responded. "That's why I want to play! You can't beat me. I won't die in this game!"  
  
5 minutes later.........  
  
"NOOOO! How can it be game over?" Yusuke asked to himself.  
  
"Playing Spyro the Dragon also involves using your brain!" Genkai said as she gave Yusuke a good smack in the head. "Besides, how can you lose 80 lives in 5 minutes?"  
  
"I kept falling off that cliff," Yusuke said silently feeling very hot all of a sudden. He never liked Genkai's harsh training.  
  
The camera turned off.  
  
The camera turned on again.  
  
"I had once heard that when ningens go, it is more horrible than the sight of the old running around undressed," He stated as he walked through Genkai's temple. "Today I shall see if that statement is true." (If you're wondering why I put that part in, my friend told me he saw a bunch of naked old guys running through the streets once.)  
  
Genkai clutched a roll of newspaper in her left hand as she walked down the hall. She slid the door open and walked into her bathroom.  
  
Once she was inside and the door was closed, Hiei hurried to the entrance and slid it open just enough for him to get a glimpse.  
  
There she was. Genkai was sitting on her toilet, reading the front page of the newspaper. Then without any warning at all, she clenched her newspaper with both hands and out came the brown mush. Splashing sounds and watery farts could be heard down the hall as she continued to push it all out. Her contorted face began to relax but turned back to distress as more came out. Once it was over, Genkai's distorted face was now gone but the bathroom seriously reeked of eggs.  
  
Hiei gasped and imitated Genkai's twisted face as the smell leaked out of the bathroom.  
  
"How disgusting! I guess this is why ningens close the door when they need to take it out," Hiei spat. "They surely have more disgusting feces than us demons. Who knew they can look like liquids."  
  
Genkai finally finished her business and stood up from the toilet. She pulled up her pants and looked at her creations, proud at what she had done.  
  
"I guess this is what happens when you eat Kuwabara's spicy chicken," Genkai said as she headed towards the door.  
  
As the bathroom door began to open, Hiei quickly blurted out with wide eyes, "That belief really is a fact."  
  
Genkai calmly walked out of the bathroom and into the empty hall.  
  
"Disgustusting!" Hiei spat outside in a tree. "Well, so much for Genkai." 


	11. Karasu

IMPORTANT! MUST READ!!!!/ Well readers, it's been nice writing this fic. But I think my time has come to end this one. Hopefully, you have all enjoyed this story as much as I did. So, here you have it. The last chapter....... Just kidding! Happy late April Fools! Heh. Yeah, I know I'm really late in that but I couldn't resist. ^////^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, Michael Jackson, or Lord of the Rings  
  
Chapter 11: Karasu  
  
The camera turns on and Hiei's face appears.  
  
"Where is that door?!" A frustrated Hiei spat as he walked through Koenma's palace. He pushed a door open and smirked, "Finally, I've found it."  
  
He jumped through the door and began falling, "Well, since that kitsune has already slaughtered that ugly bomb, I might as well go down to see him."  
  
He landed gracefully on what seemed to be the underworld. Hiei looked around. Some had their heads in poo and the others were being torched. And some were just on a break from having to play chess all day long. He walked towards the never-ending infernos, and found... Karasu being tortured by pineapples!  
  
"No! I can't stand it!" Karasu yelled out. "I hate eating pineapples! They're so healthy!"  
  
A talking pineapple laughed, "Too bad! Pineapples, squirt in his eyes now!"  
  
Karasu, having his eyes blinded by the juice, begged for mercy, "Please stop! It stings! It stings!"  
  
"T-this is his punishment?" Hiei asked himself. "Pah! How can the baka be tormented by ningen fruits?!"  
  
"No! Not the kiwi!" Karasu yelled in agony.  
  
"Yes! THE KIWI!" The pineapple sneered.  
  
"Sir! We have gathered the tangerines and oranges. They are ready to fire their juices, Sir." A small blueberry announced.  
  
"Good job, Soldier!" The pineapple leader congratulated. He turned to his fruit army, "Now! Some of you may not be able to make it back. But if you die, you will die with honor! Now CHARGE!"  
  
Hiei watched as thousands of little fruits were being squirted and eaten, "How foolish."  
  
The camera turned off.  
  
A while later, the camera turned on.  
  
"Hn," Hiei began. "That Karasu has devoured all the fruit and is now on his break."  
  
Hiei trampled over a few burning guys and other oddities. But he made it over near a small rock on which Karasu was resting upon. Hiei hid behind a boulder and took his camera out. He zoomed in on Karasu getting up and changing into some green tights.  
  
Karasu waved his hand in the air and a TV materialized out of nowhere. He turned it channel 3 1/4 and an ugly ogre appeared on the screen.  
  
"OK folks! Time for our daily aerobics!" The monster proclaimed. "Let's go! And one and two and one and two!"  
  
Hiei watched as Karasu started gyrating around. He kept kicking and kicking unenthusiastically.  
  
"Stupid fruits! Ugh!" Karasu cursed as he jumped. "I bet they just want to make me fat! Ugh!"  
  
Hiei filmed the once deadly being dancing as if there was no tomorrow.  
  
"Hn, if he wishes to move around like that, he should wear some less revealing pants," Hiei snorted as he filmed the giant hole on the back of his tight tights, showing off the wrinkles and veins on his plump end.  
  
"Must work my butt muscles!" Karasu gasped for air as he grabbed his behind and started pressing them up and down, enlarging the hole on his pants.  
  
A few minutes later, the hole was so big that it was hardly covering his rear at all. But still, Karasu just danced, "Eat your heart out, Michael Jackson! And Kurama, you'll be mine when you die!"  
  
"Good!" The little ogre on the TV screen encouraged. "You're doing a great job. You'll be the next Lord of the Dance!"  
  
The camera turned off.  
  
The camera turned on.  
  
"Karasu, the supposedly graceful dancer, is using some ningen device," Hiei grunted out. "I heard the kitsune say it was a 'comtorper' or something."  
  
Karasu was on his little rock with a computer, clicking away happily. He typed in Kurama's name in a search engine and clicked on the first link given to him.  
  
"What is that baka doing?" Hiei wondered as the camera zoomed in. "He seems to be... looking at pictures of Kurama?!"  
  
"Ooooo!" Karasu grinned. "Here is a lovely picture of that fox. Rawr. Now I have completed my collection!" (Admit it... You people like to gawk at pictures of your favorite anime characters, am I right?)  
  
Karasu right clicked on the picture and tried to save it but the computer had frozen.  
  
"NO!" Karasu yelled angrily. "Work! Damn you, work!"  
  
Karasu began smacking the computer monitor, throwing rocks at it, and even giving it a nice kick.  
  
"He seems to be angry so he must take it out by abusing the comtorper," Hiei stated monotonously.  
  
Karasu sighed in defeat as he sat down and looked at the malfunctioned computer, "Evil computers! Why must you do this to me?!"  
  
He kicked the computer one last time and luckily, his foot had hit the reset button. The screen went black and rebooted as Karasu just stared in confusion.  
  
"I fixed it!" Karasu congratulated himself.  
  
Karasu went back online and checked his mail. But an evil pop-up popped up with some porn.  
  
"Egh," Hiei spat with disgust. "He is just like Yusuke. Looking at undressed ningens."  
  
Another pop-up popped up over the previous pop-up with some more girls.  
  
"My computer is being infected with naked women!" Karasu gasped.  
  
He quickly tried to close the pop-ups but even more kept coming. Soon, it was too much for him and he had to restart the computer again.  
  
He waited for a few minutes so the extremely slow computer could start up. But right when he reached his desktop, it froze and Karasu had to once again reboot it. A while later, he had reached his desktop but it crashed again!  
  
"Oh the torture!" Karasu cried out. "This must stop now!"  
  
Karasu used his wondrous powers and had the device explode.  
  
"That ridiculous comtorper is finally destroyed!" Hiei gratefully said.  
  
Right there and then, Botan flew in on her oar. "Hiei! There you are!" She called out. "Koenma has been looking everywhere for you!"  
  
Hiei quickly hid his camera and glared at the girl.  
  
"Hiei!" She yelled once more as she picked the angry fire demon off of the ground and flew back to spirit world.  
  
__________________________  
  
Yeah, yeah. Not so Karasu-ish but I tried! So kick me then! *people start kicking kc's butt with a big heavy boot* Er... I guess I deserved that. But seriously, I was looking back at my previous fics and I had gotten flamed once. And I was thinking that I really am bad at this and I still need TONS of practice. I'm just saying that if you guys think I really do suck, just tell me. I could really make use of your suggestions. Thank you. 


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